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It’s that time of year. Swim suits on the racks at retail stores. And tanned up, oiled up, unnaturally fit models in bikinis on the cover of every magazine.

It happens at the same time every. single. year. And yet I pretend it doesn’t exist. I respond with surprise and then denial. I vehemently deny that it could be time to start thinking about swim wear. My response is, “It’s earlier this year isn’t it? Keeps getting earlier every year, right?” Nope, they put the swim suits out at the same time last year? Huh. Who knew?

I haven’t bought a new swim suit in a while. The salt and chlorine have done a good job stretching out the elastic. So I can say, look they’re (a little) too big. Ha. Um, no they are not, the elastic has lost its elasticity.

I like shopping for jewelry but not for swim wear. I  never get excited about buying a swim suit. So I did it, I took a Valium I tried on a few. Here is where the second part of the denial comes in. I look at myself in the mirror in said swim suit and think that’s not what I look like. Actually, yes, yes it is. I see myself when I get in the shower. Why do I think I am going to look like the swim suit model just because i put on the same bikini? Major denial.

Here is what I go into the dressing room wanting..

Teeny tiny yellow polka dot bikini

And THEN I walk out wanting to purchase this…


A poncho to cover the swim suit.

Here’s what I did.  Walked out without buying anything. And then ate lunch. That will show the swim suit who’s boss.


Photos via 1, 2